There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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