My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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