before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
