One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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