ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
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I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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