We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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