that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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