if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
