All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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