People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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