Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
