Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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