wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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