one might say we're banned from that church
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
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I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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