The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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