we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
