No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
