I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
