i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
