What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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