If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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