you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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