super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
