There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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