the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
