He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
