We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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