My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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