I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
