What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
