What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize