He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
