No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
