She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
