we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
