VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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