I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
