capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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