my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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