In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
