Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
