Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
