p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize