and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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