my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize