i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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