my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
