Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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