I wish I only lived at night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
