splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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