theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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