I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
