Soap is not a condiment
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
