Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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