I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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