There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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