Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
