pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
