What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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