We're like a lot better than the average bears
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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