the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
